TV COLUMN: GETTING 'LOST' AT AN AUCTION IN SANTA MONICA, CA

A Letter of Apology to the Editors of Buzzine for My Behavior

By: Josh Moorhead

August 25, 2010

Dear Editors of Buzzine,

I hereby apologize for my infractions while covering LOST: The Auction as produced by ABC Studios and Profiles In History this past Sunday, August the 22nd in the year of our Lord 2010. As a graduate of Journalism school and, more importantly, as a member of the Buzzine staff, I failed to present myself in the professional manner expected of me.

I did not anticipate, when arriving at Baker Hanger at Santa Monica Airport, to so quickly lose my air of professionalism the moment I was handed a check-in pass with a Dharma logo on it that read “Dharma Crew,” nor is that air of lost professionalism excused just because it was unexpected…but neither did I expect to jump in the air, hands raised, letting out a joyous shout as I entered the hanger, only to turn to my left and see Hurley’s Dharma van with Roger Linus’s dead body sitting beside it. Again, these miscalculated expectations should not be taken as excuses, merely as my lack of preparedness — another violation of one of the other tenants of good journalism.

I apologize that yes, as you may have heard, I was approached by the head of media check-in to make sure I was a legitimate member of the media and not just a sneaky, excited fan. This is not how Buzzine ought to be represented in the public forum. Furthermore, while walking the floor and seeing (much like Sam Spade described the Maltese Falcon in the feature of the same name) “the stuff dreams are made of,” I should have been able to remain objective and composed, much like Bogart as Spade.

Unfortunately, Bogart I am not. When facing hundreds of pieces of paraphernalia and prop work from what is most assuredly my favorite television show of all time, I could not keep my independent face. I did fawn over Locke’s collection of knives. I was rendered heartbroken looking at the picture of Desmond and Penny together that Desmond kept for years inside the hatch to find reason to keep going. I touched the glass that housed Sawyer’s letter to the man who conned his mother, that held Jacob’s tapestry, that showcased Hurley’s winning lotto ticket, that hid Ben Linus’s myriad passports, Eko’s stick-carving knife, or even Hurley’s time-traveling script for The Empire Strikes Back, or Sawyer’s beach copy of Watership Down.

I can understand if you’re abject at my lack of objectivity, but in the interest of full disclosure, since I have so disappointed you and my station to this point, I should point out my other disservices to our outlet. Without even asking, I sat down next to Roger Linus’s dead body and took pictures.

Thankfully, it was allowed, but this almost certainly was not helpful to know, as it eliminated any restraint and sense of representation of our brand that I had left. I climbed the hatch and beat it like my hero John Locke did. Surely this childlike emulation and blurred sense of what does or doesn’t constitute reality shows just how weak my rational, logical, empirical mind is in the face of imagination and inspiration of one of my favorite entertainments. I hugged the Jughead bomb. I sat in the hull of flight 815. I did, in fact, attempt to hug Mr. Cluck, almost tipping his showcase. And, most importantly or offensively to what’s expected of me, I donned a Dharma lab coat and entered 4 8 15 16 23 42 into a computer as to prevent a cataclysmic electromagnetic event that, yes, was not real. But at the time…

I am torn, you see. All of this was there. And I wasn’t expecting it to be or to be so taken by it. I didn’t mean to abandon my camera crew for 15 minutes while standing transfixed in front of a screen showcasing a DVD documentary about the legacy of Lost from the complete series set, available this Tuesday, and trying not to cry as I did. I did not want to be childlike while approaching the physical manifestations of what was previously a picture inside of a box, and I should have continued to see them as such. I didn’t intend to let down our outlet, and I should have been stronger in obfuscating my personal bias in this series and my enjoyment for it, my thrill in getting to say goodbye to all of it in person, even as I saw it that way for the first time. Again, I should have been a professional.

I do not know what to call myself now but a person who has made a mistake.

Before you decide my future, please allow me to note that things could have been worse. I could have used our company money to bid on items, the smallest of which, like Charlie’s DriveShaft ring, sold for thousands of dollars. Please consult this report for further ways I did not fail our code of ethics and our expressed procedures. I would like to point out that I did not spend $27,500 on the lighthouse wheel, even though my name was written on it, or $20,000 on Daniel Faraday’s journal, even though it contains information on quantum mechanics, which I enjoy. I did not spend $47,500 on that Dharma van I mentioned before. I did, however, spend what should have been parking money on a bottle of Oceanic Airlines water which I also drank and therefore cannot truly reimburse you for.

And even though there were plenty, I did not try on any of the clothes worn by the cast, whether it be Jacob’s ancient and hand-stitched pants and shirt to a Dharma jumpsuit to Hurley’s I <3 Shitzu’s t-shirt to Jack’s dying outfit. I exhibited some but not the ideal level of restraint.

I began by saying that I wished to apologize, to be fully honest, and to not excuse myself…but I find myself in a precarious position. I feel as if, even with the proper remorse, I must also be my own defense because, you see, I am hoping you will let me do something like this again.

Should you choose not to, and you can, considering I may have made our organization look more like a pre-K early childhood education center field trip than a media outlet, I will take solace in knowing that what I experienced may have truly been a once in a lifetime opportunity and that I never failed to represent Buzzine with passion.

Thank you for the opportunities past and hopefully future. I apologize sincerely for my behavior.

With humble regard and Namaste,

Joshua M. Moorhead

Your former chosen candidate for professional coverage.