Late-Night Fiasco

By now, the very public battle over late-night looks as if it may be finally over, with Jay Leno taking back the reigns of The Tonight Show and Conan O’Brien slinking away with what will probably be a very rich payout. At first, it seemed NBC brass took most of the jibes after announcing the end to The Jay Leno Show after the network received complaints from the affiliates over the show’s performance. But once NBC announced that Jay would be returning to 11:35, pushing Conan and The Tonight Show to 12:05, the fur began to fly with every critic and talk show host taking shots at Leno as if he had orchestrated the whole thing from the start.

Nothing, obviously, could be further from the truth, but somehow the truth was beside the point. Instead, it was all about taking as many pot-shots — many below the belt — at Jay Leno. On every Tonight Show telecast, Conan’s monologue and sketches relentlessly lambasted the former host. In an open letter, Conan said it was his dream to host The Tonight Show after “growing up watching Johnny Carson,” failing to even mention the show’s successor who did a lot more than keep the lights on after Carson left. If not for Jay and his generous lead-in, there would be no Conan O’Brien — a fact the carrot-topped comedian fails to publically recognize.

Conan was painting the situation as if he was Johnny’s heir apparent, even though Johnny never even once publically acknowledged his show. Jay helped Conan find an audience, but here he was biting the hand that fed him. None of this comes as any surprise, since in 2004, Conan’s agents signed a new deal with NBC guaranteeing him the Tonight Show spot in 2009, even though it was obvious to everyone watching, including Conan, Jay showed no signs or real desire of quitting. But Jay ended up acquiescing and agreeing to step down, being treated in the press as if he was keeping Johnny’s seat warm for the next guy, despite transforming the franchise into a consistent ratings juggernaut.

But rather than take stabs at Conan or NBC, Jay did the unthinkable — he played out his contract with a company smile on his face. He even had Conan on his final show, as he bittersweetly turned over the torch.

By the time Jay’s tenure ended, his ratings were consistently trouncing the competition (namely Letterman who, despite a continued #1 primetime lead-in boost, was still losing to Leno). NBC started to worry, what if the gamble didn’t work out? This was like Coca-Cola suddenly changing its formula — and we all know how that turned out. But at least they were able to return to Coke Classic. What if Jay took a deal at another network?

So the executives at NBC came up with what they thought would be a compromise and made a deal to put the venerable host on at 10:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. It was an experiment set to fail. Even after Jay delivered the expected numbers against such monster hits as C.S.I. Miami, the critics began going after Jay Leno like it was a town lynching. With pressure from the affiliates, NBC was forced to make some changes…

But they had bigger problems than removing Jay at 10:00 p.m. The Tonight Show’s ratings were in the basement with Conan — less than half of what Jay routinely delivered. Despite suggestions from NBC to give the show a wider appeal, Conan refused to take notes. This was his show, period.

The two talk show host’s styles were diametrically opposed. During interviews, Jay’s laid-back approach gave his guests the spotlight as if he were the black velvet to their diamond. Conan, on the other hand, has a much more competitive style. It’s a “Look at me — look at me — look at me!” approach. It’s like sitting a bunch of comics at a table, each looking to steal focus. Where this frenetic tone might’ve worked at 12:30, an hour earlier it would not.

With affiliates longing to return Jay back to his throne, NBC had to figure out a way to undo the biggest blunder since Joey. How were they supposed to put this late-night genie back in the bottle and keep everyone happy? On the surface, the only contractual solution was to put Jay back on at 11:35 and start The Tonight Show a half-hour later.

Within days, Conan publically refused, offering a silver tongue-in-cheek statement to the press. The gloves were officially off, launching a global late-night war of words that would include virtually every talk show host taking Conan’s side (with the exception of Jimmy Fallon, who chose to play it neutral) during their nightly monologues.

On Facebook, people started showing their support for Team Coco, as Conan continued to take relentless pot-shots toward Jay (some to the point of groans from his own audience). At one point, Conan told the audience in America you can be anything you want to be, as long as Jay Leno doesn’t want the same job. Watching bits replayed the following morning had you longing for the innocence of simple sour grapes. Conan was determined to take those grapes and turn them into vinegar in a public forum until the final curtain would come down.

Jay was being portrayed as an Indian-giver, turning over The Tonight Show only to take it back. Nothing could be further from the truth, though, by now, everyone was in on the act, especially David Letterman, whose wound obviously never healed after being passed up for the job hosting The Tonight Show nearly two decades earlier.

One night in a rant, Letterman referred to Jay as “big-jaw” Leno, obviously leaning his sympathies toward Conan (who he routinely beat in the ratings). Nobody wanted to see Jay not return to his old slot more than Dave. With Conan at 11:35, Dave was the reigning king of late-night. Letterman even would resort to a cheap Leno impression, which has already been done to death. If imitation is the highest form of flattery, Jay has won a Pulitzer.

For his part, however, Jay’s jokes were tame and good-spirited, even though obvious pot-shots toward his old nemesis could have written themselves, particularly involving Letterman’s recent public infidelities.

Most boggling, as the events continued to spiral out of control, was Conan’s inability to accept a modicum of responsibility for the outcome. He was acting like a spoiled rich kid. The Tonight Show was his, and no one had the right to take it away from him. So what if NBC was losing revenue and ratings continued to slide. On last night’s broadcast, he even crowed to the audience in the opening monologue that 83 percent of the people polled want him to stay on with The Tonight Show. Where or how that poll was taken was beside the point, as was the fact that they didn’t sign his paycheck — NBC did. And to set the record straight, they didn’t fire Conan — he quit — or at least refused to host The Tonight Show at the contracted time period.

Conan had an option, and if he was smart, he would have readily accepted the 12:05 option with a great big Jay Leno smile on his face. With Jay back on at 11:35, The Tonight Show might just get the necessary boost it needed with Conan with a healthy half-hour lead-in. Sure, it would have been like The Tonight Show with training wheels, but within a few years, maybe less, the training wheels would have eventually been removed and the show would have slid back into its old time slot and everyone, especially Conan, would be happy.  But his ego wouldn’t allow it.

Instead, Conan decided to leave kicking and screaming, going as far to shift the blame to both NBC and Jay for uprooting all the families that moved out with him for the The Tonight Show. The fact remains, Conan made his own decision to walk and talk away–therefore, the blood clearly lies on his hands alone. Nobody knows better the livelihoods his show affects better than Jay Leno. I’m sure a good part of his decision to take the 10:00 p.m. slot and eventual return to 11:30 lies in the team of writers, producers and production staff who depend on him to stay employed.

Conan’s fatal mistake in taking over The Tonight Show was in not reading his audience’s taste. If you look at some of Jay Leno’s earlier stand-up, he used to be much edgier than what he eventually grew into on The Tonight Show. This had to be deliberate on his part — nobody chooses to get softer. But Jay quickly discovered America tunes in to The Tonight Show the way they frequent Denny’s. You don’t go to Denny’s for Spaghetti Arrabiata. You order the Grand Slam. It’s satisfying, dependable and never leaves a bad taste in your mouth. And that’s what Jay has always delivered.

No one, even his harshest critics, can deny Jay Leno’s mass appeal, incredible longevity or the indelible mark he has made on late-night television. Like him or hate him, it’s almost impossible not to admit he has earned his way to becoming one this country’s national treasures, on par with a Bob Hope, John Wayne and yes…even Johnny Carson. One day he may get his due, but for now he looks content just doing his job.

In the coming months, Conan will undoubtedly make a decision about his future — but one thing I’m sure is certain. This is one wound that will never heal. He’s the George Lazenby of James Bonds — the one guy who failed The Tonight Show. Conan can point fingers until he’s blue in the face — he’s still George Lazenby (who, by the way, never once blamed Sean Connery for coming back for Diamonds are Forever).

The irony in all this is how Conan has inadvertently secured the future of The Tonight Show one day to his Late Night successor, Jimmy Fallon.  With Jay back at The Tonight Show, his underrated and underperformed Late Night with Jimmy Fallon will finally be given the ratings boost it needs to attract and hold a decent audience. Perhaps when the time comes, Jimmy will send Conan a big thank-you note.

Where Conan goes from here on is anyone’s guess.  Although in the past, Fox has expressed interest, they should look into their history books before starting any negotiation.  Though they’ve already made many attempts into the late night arena, Fox has yet to strike gold.  Their most notable attempt/failure was luring Johnny Carson’s former guest host, Joan Rivers, who, at the time delivered ratings four times as high as Conan’s.   Despite a high publicized feud with Carson, Rivers was canceled in less than a year.  If they decide they want Conan, the best they can hope for is a third to half of the numbers he’s delivering for NBC.  Perhaps rather than shelling out millions, a more prudent offer would be to pay him on commission.   A better career move at this point would be to slide over to a pay channel like HBO, where acquired tastes like Dennis Miller and Bill Maher have found success–due, in part because the cabler panders less to ratings and more towards accolades.

But before those decisions are made, Conan still needs to finish out almost another month of the Tonight Show.  If he’s wise, he’ll retire the pot shots before he starts looking like the bitter wife who won’t stop whining about her ex-husband.  Sure, at first, sure, audiences sympathize–but after awhile it becomes “the talk show host protests too much”.   Even his most loyal fans may start scratching their head wondering, “If you really are as great as you say, why’d NBC let you go?”

Whatever happens, the dust finally appears to be settling soon on this Late-Night fiasco of 2010 with the former king of late-night regaining his thrown. I’m sure no one is more disappointed than Jay’s competition. Of course, there will always be the critics who will question whether or not Jay will be able to rise from the ashes and regain his former title.

I hate to break the news to his naysayers, but…I believe he already did.