TV INTERVIEW: JANEANE GAROFALO

She May or May Not Know Paul Provenza, but She Does Know Surreal Comedy

When is an interview not an interview? How is a fish like a flan? Put in a slightly surreal situation with one of your favorite comedians, a couch, and cameras all around, how would you fare? Buzzine’s Nicole Rayburn joins Janeane Garofalo in The Green Room green room at The Vanguard in Hollywood, California for some fun verbal jousting that may (or may not) have anything to do with Oprah Winfrey, nice eyebrows, and Paul Provenza, the Soup King.

 

Nicole Rayburn: The rumor was that until very recently, it was undetermined as to whether you were going to be able to make the show tonight or not…? 

 

Janeane Garofalo: Right, but luckily I got off work on time. It was touch-and-go there for a while, but I made it.

 

NR: Well, I can’t speak for everybody, but personally, you’re one of my favorites, and I’m most excited that you were able to make it.

 

JG: Thanks. You probably say that to all the interviews, right?

 

NR: I have not.  There’s video of everyone, so there’s proof… [Laughs]

 

JG: I can actually check. I’ll need to see the footage of that after. I demand total honesty. I’m much like Oprah, in that sense. I live in the truth. Were I to get my hands on James  Frey, who wrote A Million Little Pieces… I don’t know if you remember that, but Oprah really took him to the woodshed. It was a man who wrote a book that was supposed to be his autobiography, but he fudged some of the details, and Oprah was very angry.

 

NR: From her book club thing…

 

JG: From her book club, although she allows political figures to come on and lie with impunity.

 

NR: You can say that…

 

JG: She does! She is very upset with this gentleman who wrote a book, but people who do have an impact on our lives are allowed to lie with impunity, and she doesn’t say that much about it.

 

NR: I like how comics can call everyone out on anything. The only difference is, with humor, you can get away with it. It’s not like anybody can just stand up and spout their personal views…

 

JG: Actually, they can: You’ve seen the Tea Party. They do – they stand up and spout their views. People do it all the time, and actually, comics get in trouble all the time for it. Why did you get so timid when I said… What are you frightened of?

 

NR: No, I was laughing.

 

JG: When I said the Tea Party, you went…

 

NR: …no, it was like an inside kind of laughter.

 

JG: Was that a laugh? I thought you looked frightened.

 

NR: No, I’m sorry: Confusing facial expression.

 

JG: I misread your physical cues.

 

NR: You’re calling them out.

 

JG: That one I get. That one I understand: Are you flirting with me?! Oh my!

 

NR: Sort of.  So: Do you know Paul very well?

 

JG: Paul…?

 

NR: Paul Provenza.

 

JG: No.

 

NR: Really? Or are you just talking smack with me right now?

 

JG: I don’t know who that is.

 

NR: Do you really not know? Come on…

 

JG: I really do not know who Paul Provenza is.

 

NR: All right, well he’s hosting and producing the show tonight…

 

JG: …I know who Paul F. Tompkins is.

 

NR: Okay. He’s not here.

 

JG: Is that his show? I was told this is "The Green Room with Paul F. Tompkins."

 

NR: No. You were misinformed.

 

JG: I know Paul Mooney. I know Paul Lynde, from Hollywood Squares, among other things… Bewitched. Paul Provenza? That does not ring any bells...How would I know Paul Provenza? Is he a comic?

 

NR: He is a comic.

 

JG: Maybe that’s why I don’t know him.

 

NR: He’s the reason you’re here.

 

JG: Where are we?

 

NR: We’re in the green room of The Green Room.

 

JG: Oh, this place is called the green room.

 

NR: Yes. The show that you’re gonna be on in a few minutes is also called The Green Room…

 

JG: We’re gonna be on a show!

 

NR: Yeah. So no pressure…

 

JG: What kind of a show?

 

NR: It’s really just conversation, so you really don’t have any pressure…

 

JG: So it’s like this now.  And it’s a show about what?

 

NR: Comedy.

 

JG: Comedy. And what is that?

 

NR: I’m told it’s where people are funny. But you don’t have to be funny. It’s just conversation about comedy. And if you don’t know anything about comedy…

 

JG: I don’t.

 

NR: Well, I’m sure you could just try and hang with the rest of the guys. I believe that you’re the only woman in this episode of the show…

 

JG: What show?

 

NR: The Green Room. It’s called The Green Room with Paul Provenza.

 

JG: Paul Provenza. Proven-za. That’s a lovely name. Italian. It’s an Italian name. Oh! [singing] “Make it Provenza or make it yourself.” I do know Paul Provenza! He has the soups and sauces. Paul Provenza!

 

NR: I…I think: That’s Progresso.

 

JG: What is Progresso? Progresso?

 

NR: Soup?

 

JG: Soup.

 

NR: Is there anything else you wanted to talk about besides soup and comedy?

 

JG: What about you? What do you want to talk about? Don’t let me hog the conversation. Come on!

 

NR: No, I want you to hog the conversation.

 

JG: You’ve got a microphone… You’ve got a beautiful head of hair. You must have a head full of thoughts. What would you like to talk about?

 

NR: I do, and I get complimented on the fact that I even have thoughts, quite frequently.

 

JG: And a beautiful head of hair…

 

NR: Thanks.

 

JG: Nice eyebrows too. I like your eyebrows.

 

NR: Thank you.

 

JG: And lovely skin.

 

NR: My dreams are coming true right now.

 

JG: Isn’t she something? [Singing] “Make it Provenza or make it yourself!” I’m so excited to meet the soup king.

 

NR: I’m actually a little star-struck right now, so I’m kind of dumbfounded.

 

JG: Me too. I’ve been eating Provenza soup since I was a kid, honestly. Star-struck is an understatement. Honestly, I cannot wait.

 

NR: You’re awesome. And I did have a question…

 

JG: I’m sorry, go ahead.

 

NR: And now I’ve completely forgotten it. You know why? Because you’re entertaining me.

 

JG: Thank you. I feel that you’re entertaining me as well, so we are together entertained. And soon we will meet the soup king.

 

NR: Actually, I’ve met him already.

 

JG: You have? He must be pretty old by now because I know I’ve eaten Provenza soups since I was a kid in the late ‘60s.

 

NR: But he’s holding together really well.

 

JG: He looks good? I wonder what he’s using. What kind of serums and balms and creams and salves…

 

NR: I didn’t ask. But he was wearing some makeup.

 

JG: Oh really? And do you think he’s had some work done?

 

NR: I don’t know. He still had a mole, but maybe they just didn’t take that off.

 

JG: Right, but you don’t want to go whole hog. You leave the mole and you get the stuff done, and then people don’t really realize you got it done. Look at whoever a great example of that would be.

 

The Second Season of ‘The Green Room with Paul Provenza’ premieres new episodes on Showtime every Thursday night at 11:00 p.m. ET/PT beginning July 14, 2011.